Conventioning

So the convention. Wow! It was HUGE! There were SO many people there I was totally blown away. In a way it was so cool to see that there were so many people in Arizona dedicated to homeschooling their kids! The convention gave me a lot of information, and some time to myself to really figure out what in the world is wrong with me and this whole homeschool mental block I have. ;) Okay, so maybe just the homeschool mental block. I may never know what's 'wrong' with me, ha ha! Boiled down to bare facts, I've just been rebellious. Pretty simple. I know that this is the path that I need to walk. Hurb and I have made this decision together because we BELIEVE it is the best thing for our family. And even though I know all of that I've still been rebellious in my spirit because I don't "want" to homeschool. For various reasons. I'm lazy, parenting is overwhelming enough with out that, I don't want to be "weird" (oops... well weirder, I guess). The first day's keynote speaker was a lady named Heidi St. John aka The Busy Homeschool Mom. And she should be because she has 7 kids! Her speech was exactly what I needed to hear. Because she did not 'start out' a homeschool mom, and when she felt God's tug on her heart to go that route, she too had some of the same reactions as I did. "I don't know how to sew, we can't all wear matching jumpers!" "We don't own any chickens!" Ha ha! Her humorous way of looking at things through the eyes of someone who also had some of those "homeschoolers are strange" notions was refreshing. She was realistic about how difficult some days will be, but also reminding us that God is the one who is doing this through us, and He will be the one to make it happen. I needed to hear all of that. Then of course, I melted into a puddle of blubbering tears when my friend and I were talking about things afterward. :) She was such an encouragement to me even just by standing there and letting me cry about "how in the world am I going to add ONE MORE HAT to what I'm doing already?!" Thank you Jenny! I'm not always so unhinged! Promise!! ;) Later that day I went to a session by a lady who has 14 children and has been homeschooling for, get this... let it sink in, 32 years!!! As I sat there listening to her wisdom and fantastic ideas, and they really were, I felt my heart sinking again. I can't do this. Really! The very thought of homeschooling for 32 years makes me feel like crawling into a cave right now and never coming out! But then I kinda shook myself a bit and chatted with Jenny again. :) That was the path God has for that amazing lady and her family. Mine may not look like that... in fact I'm pretty sure the 14 kids part is out, but I guess I should never say never. ;) My friend is in a unique situation as well because in her God ordained path she had 2 children then a span of years where God did not bring other children into the home and now she had a beautiful 3rd child just ready to start K5 after her other 2 have graduated. So she reminded me that by the time she's done she'll have homeschooled for 27 years! That's a huge accomplishment, and had she known that was before her when she started, she may never have started. So all of that to say, that just because my rebellious heart doesn't want to tread THAT path, doesn't mean it's not the one I should be on. Honestly I probably won't homeschool for that long. At this point even if I take all 3 kids through to graduation, I'd only be looking at 15 years. And I've been reminding myself as well that this may just be for a season. Just because God has set homeschooling in my path for now, doesn't mean that it will be that way in 5 or 10 years. I can't see ahead in the way, but God knows what's going to come along. It's my responsibility to trust him and do the best job I can. STOP rebelling against this and embrace it as a fantastic opportunity to really train my kids. There was SO MUCH MORE that I got out of the convention. I'll share a bit in future posts, but over all I'm glad I went, even if I was reluctant, and I'm glad that I was able to do a little growing while I was there, even if my toes are a bit bruised. :)